I love this picture taken by Nicole of Zeland and Andrew when Z was just a week old
Father's Day for me celebrates my Stepdad David and my Father whom I never got to know Andy.
David married my mom when I was nine. Our relationship hasn't always been easy especially through my teenage years lord knows I did not make it easy on him but I think that he has always done the best he could. Being a parent is hard enough but it seems that step parents have it even harder. We have a great relationship now and that is what is important. He is also a great Papa to Cameron and Zeland. I am so thankful that he is a part of my life and that he has been there for all of the important things. Happy Father's Day David I love you.
My dad Andy died when I was three. I miss him terribly though I don't remember him. I search my mind for some small detail that I might remember, something to hold onto but nothing is there. I find myself being mad that he didn't take better care of himself. Mad that he drank to much and his body couldn't take it. Mad that he will never be there for the important things. Mad that because he isn't here I have an entire family that I don't really know. Mad that he is missing out on all of our lives like me getting married and having the most incredible children, his grandchildren that he will never know. Mostly though I am sad and I wish he were here so I could have known him and he could have known me. Regardless, there is a part of me that loves him more then anything. I love you dad and I wish you were here so I could tell you Happy Father's Day.
2 comments:
I was really touched by your comments on both dads. However, your comments on your Dad Andy brought tears to my eyes. It must be really hard not to know a parent and I think it is especially hard on girls not to know their dads. My best friend Peggy's dad died when she was a baby, and that left a deep hole in her life. I think she was always searching for a man to fill it for her. After many stormy relationships, she finally did marry someone good and I think that helped her a lot. No one can really replace an unknown father but eventually the pain, anger and hurt lessen a a bit even though the scar will always be there.
Thank you for sharing such deep feelings.
I think Andrew is able to understand your feelings. He was raised by a stepdad, too. Although his genetic dad is alive, he never got to know him well. I think that left a hole in his life, too, although I don't know how big a hole. But at least he has been able to see him from time to time and get to know him a little.
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